Jungle Boogie

I'm really high up.

Line into the jungle

  It was with a very heavy heart that I left Cave Lodge for The Pearl of North, also known as Chiang Mai. In fact, the lodge was so peaceful that I actually experienced culture shock when I got back to Chiang Mai and was confronted with the noise and the people and the pollution. But that is not to say Chiang Mai isn’t a beautiful city; it’s a million trillion times cleaner and less hectic than Bangkok with more beautiful nooks and crannies and better food. And a lot more tourists. I stayed in a hostel that had been invaded with OEGers for the New Year in what is known as the Old City of Chiang Mai. Centuries ago, a great wall was constructed around this Old City and you can still follow the ruins of the wall all along this area of Chiang Mai. I stayed near the East Gate, which was party central for New Years. After spending so much time with Thais and eager explorers of the mountains this place took some getting use too.

Time was something that I didn’t really seem to have in Chiang Mai. I was picked up bright and early the day after my arrival for The Flight of the Gibbons, guaranteed to be the best zip lining experience in Thailand. It boasted lines of upward to 800 meters long (sadly, that line was not available during this trip) and beautiful scenery of the jungle canopy. Of course I was going to do it, that’s a no brainer. At this point, some of you must be scratching your heads a bit as I do have a well-known issue with heights. I’m not scared of them, by any means; it’s more of a problem with vertigo. When I’m walking up multiple flights of stairs or even an escalator, I’ve been known to grip on to the railing and take deep breaths because it feels like I’m about to fall over the side. But still, when am I ever going to be in Thailand again with the chance to fly through the jungle canopy like a hairy monkey? (Perhaps the hairy monkey part was not a good analogy…) And what could possibly go wrong?

Joe

Enter Joe. Joe is a very tiny man, even by Thai standards. It makes him the perfect candidate for a job that requires you to zoom from tree to tree while also catching the smaller tourist children with your legs. You could say that Joe was smitten with me at first sight. He picked me out of the line of people to get their harnesses on and fitted mine personally. He wasn't shy; he had no problem telling me “you awer wery beautidul.” And Joe wasn’t bad looking or unkind, but I haven’t been here long enough for what the ladies and I call “Thai Goggles” to set in. So what does a Thai Monkey Man do when his efforts don’t seem to be going anywhere? He wants to make sure you have a great time on your zip line, of course. But to Joe, a good time meant that he was constantly pushing me off the platform so I reached speeds I wasn’t comfortable with (“Why you always go so fast?” asked the other employee who was in charge of catching us) or yanking on the zip line so I bounced up and down and ran into a few branches from time to time. I know, I know. I work in a kindergarten and I should have seen that one coming.

So, what does it feel like to fly through the jungle canopy? It’s not the weightless feeling I was expecting. You are extremely aware that you are sitting in a harness connected to an upside-down rollerblade that is propelling you across the jungle and at any moment that blade could fall off the line leaving you dangling, waiting for Joe to come out and get you. (The opening scene of Cliffhanger comes to mind…) It is, however, the most freeing feeling. When I did get use to the fast speed and better at ducking under branches I could look around to see miles of jungle with huge trees shooting out of the canopy, each one competing for more sunlight than the one beneath it. I could hear (though never saw) a river underneath my feet. I could swing my legs and let my arms hang in the wind. And I now have a better appreciation for why George of the Jungle was always hitting trees because they really do come out of nowhere.